Casting calls

 Yes, those are my children. But that isn't what this post is about.  I just wanted to share the photo.

I'm starting to plan some casting calls for rebuilding my portfolio.  There will be more info available on my facebook page. I have a few loose ends to tie up so I'm planning on starting the first casting calls around August 1.  I'll be looking for specifics such as a set of sisters, a senior boy, a pregnant woman, an engaged couple, a couple that's been married for 20 years, etc.  This will be a good opportunity for people to get free and discounted prints and no session fee as I style their sessions and bring some of my ideas to life. Fun times all around.

In other news, I'm off work entirely for the next few weeks.  Time to do some serious damage to the kid's list of things to do this summer.  Hopefully I will be able to find the time to be a better blogger as well. Thanks for sticking around!

Create.

Hebrews 12:1- Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crown of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially  the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.


I completed my interview yesterday to start working a volunteer position on my church's (ThatChurch.com, check it out) creative team.

I'm nervous.

They are my friends, my church family. I love them. I am inspired by them. I'm creative. It's a good match.

But I'm still nervous.  I'm really trying to push forward into photography in the way I know God wants me to.    I feel like the obstacles and setbacks I've faced are as much as a testament to the fact that I should be doing this as my passion is.  Isn't that how it always works?  God sends you down a path to do the work He has for you so Satan throws roadblocks in the way and piles weights up on your back.

I have been wrong to live in fear of the next setback, wrong to be discouraged when I know I have been commissioned by my almighty God.   James 4:17 says "It is a sin to know what you ought to do and not it."  So let me to confess to you all, so that perhaps I will face accountability instead of turning in fear.  God has made it clear in which way I am to serve Him....with my camera and the gift to create.  I am riddled with shortcomings such as procrastination.  I question my use to Him and let that hinder my productivity. But ultimately, I am clear on one thing.  Doing nothing, when I know I should be doing something, is not an option.

Three thousand words.

A photo update of the last month. 

Toby man is getting bigger. They do that.

 Got to watch an old friend tie the knot. So lovely. 

Found this gem from when Tobias was born forgotten on my external hard drive. 

Ah, summer; hot and hectic and gearing up for it's fully glory.
Jeremiah came in at about eleven last night with Asher and Jack dragging in behind him, sleep in their eyes and pillow pets under their arms, mutter big fish stories on their way to their beds.  They left Monday morning for a fishing trip at Lake Greason with my uncles.  It would appear from the phone photos I was having regularly texted to me that they had a blast.
Tobias and I stayed behind because he isn't quite big enough for sun and boating yet. I had grand plans of productivity in mind, but my allergies had other plans and they won.  I did get a chance to take some photos of my sister while she visits from Oklahoma City.

And she snapped a few of Tobias and me...

My sweet Tobias who is pushing 10 lbs. now!

We found a really lovely new location that I'd never shot before.  The wheels are turning in my head with ideas to go back.
Today will be full of catch up around the house but I have several cool projects, photography goals and fun kid activities planned for summer!  I will be back soon!

Angry Bird-day

The angry bird birthday party was a huge success!  I have never had such a good time planning a party.  Thanks to pinterest, I'm already looking forward to the next one!

I think photos are probably the best way to tell you how great it turned out.

The lifesize angry birds game.  We had originally planned on painting the boxes to make them look like wood and ice, but we decided kind of last minute not to spend the extra time and money. No one cared. :)

The ammo.  Found these balls at Wal-Mart (Large size were 2.50 each, small were 1.50) and freehanded the faces on with acrylic paint.  I had to let them dry and do a couple of layers to get good solid color. 

Things like this leave me in awe of my husbands creativity.  He came up with this slingshot using scrap lumber, exercise bands and a whole foods bag!  The head swiveled too!

I made a trade with a friend from church: photography for these awesome angry bird cupcakes. Gotta love the barter system and talented baking friends! 

The popcorn bar.  Printed the faces for free off here: The Party Animal.  Air popped popcorn into one dollar buckets from Michael's and provided an array of flavors and toppings like Parmesan cheese and M&Ms.

The bags for the popcorn bar. 

The boys and I made these cute little guys to use in place of confetti when decorating the tables.  Little pom-poms, 5mm googly eyes, pipe cleaners, tacky glue and card stock. All from Michael's.  These were a cheap little touch and were a lot of fun to make. 

And the very best part, my sweet Asher.  So proud to be 5. 

The food was devoured before I was able to get photos but I can share my recipe sources.  I went with as much of an angry birds theme as I could without getting too processed in the food. I intended to make little signs with cutesy names and clip art, but alas, time ran out.  So the theme was lost on most people but they all enjoyed the taste!

Angry Birds Party Menu

Mini Pigs in a Blanket

Sweet Smoked Piggies (Bacon wrapped little smokies in brown sugar and butter)
Red Bird Fruit Salsa with Cinnamon Chips (I put the apples and strawberries in the food processor so it would be a little more salsa-y than this recipe.  And I omitted all the sugar. It was quite sweet enough without it)
Angry Bird Rojo Roasted Salsa (Recipe below) and tortilla chips
Ham and Cheese Sliders (Did these on Kings Hawaiian rolls)
BBQ Pork Sliders (Recipe below)
Very Angry Eggs (Deviled eggs made by the mother in law)
Popcorn Bar (Angry Bird Food)
We also had a bit of randomness like some mason jars of black olives, grapes and blueberries. And a plate of Asher's all time favorite food, Cheese!




Red Roasted Salsa


6 lb. roma tomatoes
2 sweet vidalia onions
10 serrano peppers
1 bunch cilantro
a head of garlic
1/4 cup of honey
3 T. Kosher Salt

Preheat oven to 350.  Slice the tomatoes and onions in half.  Cut the caps off the peppers.  Peel the garlic.
Lay it all out in cookie sheets (I use pampered chef stoneware so they don't get too charred or stick) and roast for about 30-40 minutes.  You want things to get nice and toasty, a little black around the edges, slightly caramelized.  Keep checking it though because if it burns on a regular cookie sheet, it will wreck havoc by sticking.

After roasting is done, put the ingredients through the food processor with the cilantro, salt, and honey.  You'll have to go in batches because this makes a lot of salsa.
Taste and adjust.

You could turn up the heat with more peppers.  I originally started with 20 but they were HOT so I only put 10 in.  I also made this the day before and packed it in mason jars in the fridge for the flavors to meld a bit. It was delicious.


BBQ Pork Sliders
Makes 12 Slider Sandwiches (we tripled for the party)

1 pork tenderloin (either pre-marinated or plain)
1 package Kings Hawaiian Rolls
1/2 cup ketchup
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
a splash of apple cider vinegar
1 T. BBQ Rub (any variety either sweet or spicy, I used Pampered Chef Smoky Applewood)

If using a plain pork loin, rub it down with some additional rub before cooking. If it's pre-marinated, don't do anything extra.

Cook pork loin at 350 for 45 minutes.
Let rest for 10 minutes before cutting so juices and redistribute.
Slice thin.

Slice rolls open for sandwiches.

Mix ketchup, brown sugar, vinegar and rub together for sauce.

Serve all together on a tray for people to assemble their own sandwiches.  I stacked the rolls up on one side, spread the meat out on the other and used a little mason jar with a spoon in it for the sauce.
You can also cook the meat the morning or night before, wrap in foil and just heat it up before serving.

brothers.

That is all.

A quick hello.

The response from my last post has been amazing.

I have had so many women contact me with their personal stories of similar situations;  undetected ear infections causing developmental delays, a fractured arm that went for a week before seeing the doctor, a baby screaming in pain after eating for months before simply switching to soy formula, other failure to thrive stories.  Turns out, just about every mom I talked to had some story, some little failure, that she has been carrying on her back for years.  

I find it curious how universal guilt is among mothers.  Mom Guilt.  It deserves it's own title.  As I saw sympathy and understanding written all over my friend's beautiful faces, as they offered up their failures to me as consolation, I could see the fact that these stories still stung for them.  These stories still registered in their mind as tiny deficits: the times they let down their children. 

The weight we feel as mothers is overwhelming.  I have been blessed with many words, but I find my vocabulary wholly insufficient to describe the crushing love and guilt that grows in us with our first child.  We know we will never be what we wish we could be for our babies. We will always fall short.

I wonder sometimes if this is what God meant when he cursed Eve (Gen. 3:16).  He said "I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thy shalt bring forth children" (KJV)

I've always thought this referred to childbirth, but I don't think it ends there.  Childbirth hurts. I know, I've experienced a completely natural birth and it can feel like you are being turned inside out.  But it's for your baby.  It's fulfilling your role as a woman.  It brings with it feelings of elation and accomplishment, not failure. 

My husband is one of the best dad's I know.  He loves our kids and strives to be the father God wants him to be.  In the ER with Toby, he wasn't blaming himself.  He wasn't choking on guilt and blinded to God's power by our mistake.  He just looked forward to a solution.  Because he's a man and from my experience, that's just how they function. Mom Guilt though, it is a sorrow that truly does multiply. It doesn't dissolve in the happiness of a resolution.  It keeps coming back. And without Christ, it could easily destroy your effectiveness as a parent.

It helps me to understand why I feel things.  It has helped me this week to understand that this experience was not uncommon, and that my initial reaction was shared with many mothers. 

Most importantly, it helps to know that my babies are ultimately in the hands of God.  I will surely fail them, but in taking up God's commission to raise children in His ways, I am arming them with the tools to overcome my failures and have life. 

Whew.

Enough of that. I'm ready for some not-so-heavy blog posts. 

I will end this on the lighter side of motherhood with a performance from our Mother's Day church service. 

We are in full swing with preperation for Asher's Angry Birds birthday party. More on that later. For now, enjoy the mom rhapsody....