And the beat goes on.

Hey blog.
How's it been?  I feel the need to explain my month long absence...though it's probably obvious considering my last posts were about my impeding labor and though it felt like pregnancy would last an eternity, it didn't!  We welcomed our son, Tobias James, into the world on March 9.  That combined with the catastrophic failure our computer endured over the last month has kept me away from you, blog.  My handy husband has been performing open-case surgery on the computer and finally cleared it off the kitchen table night before last, putting it back together and giving it some new life a la newegg.com.

So I come bearing photos and tales of birth and a strong desire to get some of my bloggy ideas out into the world.  I've had multiple instances in these few weeks of 3 a.m. nursing session blog brainstorms, though half of those ideas have escaped my sleep deprived brain by morning!  For now, I do have this to share...

Laboring at home as long as possible.

After a relaxed early labor that lasted over a day and an intense few hours of unmedicated active labor in the hospital, I was so ready to meet this little guy.

Daddy getting him ready for skin on skin contact with me about 10 minutes after birth.  He was so alert.

And finally home....our whole crew together at last!

This birth experience was absolutely amazing.  My contractions changed in nature on Wednesday evening and I could tell they were no longer false labor.  They didn't hurt exactly but started to cause pressure really low.  Thursday morning I woke up and told Jeremiah that I was in early labor but it could last a long time.  I spent most of the day in my room, walking around the house and taking it easy with Asher.  My sister called that afternoon and after talking to me, she decided to go ahead and start driving from OKC.  At about 6, we sent the kids to my moms to spend the night and at around 10 Wednesday night, I decided I would sleep while I could (thinking a little that the contractions would stall out, proving to be more false labor).  I woke up a few hours later though and all I could think was "OW!". I was thrilled, it was the real deal!  Jeremiah and I laid down again. I couldn't sleep but wanted him to get some rest because I really needed him to be on par for the birth.  A few hours went by and I had to get up and pace.  I finally woke him up and said I was ready to go to the hospital.  I was really worn down from not sleeping much the last two nights, I was in too much pain to rest but I knew it was still early labor.  With my previous births, early labor has lasted a very long time and active labor (from about 4 cm. to birth) lasted a very short time, generally about an hour. When it became apparent that my labor was not going to progress at a faster pace, I decided to go get checked out at the hospital and see what my options were.
We arrived and after talking with my nurse, I agreed to a very low dose of pitocin.  I have thought a lot about this decision and I don't regret it, though I would be hesitant suggest other moms take the same route without really supportive hospital staff and knowledge of your own body.  Mary, our nurse, agreed to manually set my dosage instead of putting it on to increase automatically.  She also agreed that when my body responded to the drug and moved into active labor, we would stop increasing the dosage and leave it alone.  She asked me one time, before we started the pit, if I was sure I wanted to forgo all pain management and when I said yes, she did not ask again.
About an hour after the pit started, I was starting to have to really work through the contractions.  My sister saved the day by bringing my birth ball and favorite pillow which I had accidentally left behind in my haste to leave the house.  Those two things made a world of difference.  The smell of my home was so comforting, I would bury my face in the pillow at every contraction. I spent a good two hours laboring on the ball as labor progressed, continually replaying a mental list of inspiration:  the natural birth stories from Ina May's books and from my crunchy mom friends, the idea that my body was capable and the mental image of my body opening up and pushing my son out into the world where we could meet him and love him.  With every contraction, I would replace the jerk reaction of "Ow! Ow! Ow!" with "This isn't pain, this is work. It's hard but it's got a purpose".  I'd read an interesting bit a while ago about how as the cervix opens, the uterus actually pulls up into itself and the fundus (the top of the uterus) becomes thicker and stronger to push the baby down and out.  I kept visualizing this during contractions and thinking "Up!". This lead to my visualizing running up a flight of stairs each time a contraction built and resting "on the way down".  It fascinates me that this is what I came up with in the moment, but I must say it was quite effective.
At noon, Mary came in to check my progress and shocked us all when she said I was dilated to 7 cm.  The doctor poked his head in and instructed the nurses to begin setting up because he figured the baby would come in about 30 minutes based on my history.  After this things become a blur and I can only say that it was Jeremiah staying calm and controlled that kept me grounded.  He kissed me through contractions like Ina May suggests in her books, stating that it helps sphincters to open to relax your mouth.  He applied counter pressure on my lower back and he assured me it was almost over and I was doing a good job.  Tobias was born 28 minutes after the nurse announced to the room I was at a 7.  He was, and is, completely perfect.  If I'm being honest, until they laid the little guy on my chest, I wasn't 100% sure I could do it.  After having two highly medicalized births, recovering from anesthesia and interventions, I desperately wanted to do it naturally but I just wasn't sure I was able.

 Unbelievably...3 1/2 weeks have passed since Toby's birth!  It's one of those things that just blows my mind. It feel simultaneously like time has flown and like he's been here forever.   We are finally falling into a good groove, exhausted but smitten.  God has big plans for this little boy, of this I am sure.  He has certainly blessed us.

Leap!

Prodromal Labor. I knew this was coming.  This is my third pregnancy, I've been around this block before. I know these tricks.

Wikipedia defines Pre-labor, also called "prodromal labor," as the early signs before labor starts. It is the body's preparation for real labor. It can include hours to days of consistant, highly uncomfortable contractions that do not organize enough to progress the body into active labor.


I define it as bordenline torture.  With my first son, my prodromal labor lasted for 10 days and three trips to the labor and delivery ward, all of which I was sent home deflated and disheartened.  Two nights ago, the contractions started again. Every 5 minutes, lasting about a minute each, and I just sighed.  Like I said, I'm an old dog here. 


The truth is I am just a terribly impatient woman, impulsive and rash even.  You see when I'm not the one that is massively pregnant, I am the voice of reason.  I've spent the last few weeks with my face buried in Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth,  empowering myself with her stories and words of wisdom.  I am preparing as much as possible for a birth free of interventions. Unfortunatly, births free of pitocin and doctors and scheduling require patience. And really,I believe in it. I believe that God designed women for birth, that the rates of cesareans are absurdly unnecessary and compeletely linked to our inability to just wait for our body to be ready.  I believe wholeheartedly that I was designed by my perfect creator to grow babies and bring them into the world, and that in most cases medical aid is unnecessary.  I believe that my hour will come when it is the correct time. God and I have had a few heart to hearts throughout this pregnancy concerning this and I have put it into His capable hands.  


That is, until the useless, false labor contractions started and I turned into an absolute mad-woman.  Yesterday, before my darling soulmate of a husband reminded me that I am a God-loving woman and that perhaps I should take a moment to pray about my "I've gotta have this baby now" anxiety, I decided that I did, in fact, have to have this baby now.  I googled "natural induction methods" and I decided to completely ignore the knowledge that if you're body isn't ready, the baby isn't coming.  


I think I walked miles yesterday.  My poor 4 year old said after an hour and a half at the mall that he would like to go get in the van and have a nap.  If you knew Asher, you would know how very much it takes before the child admits even the slightest bit of tiredness.  From then I just went on down the list, doing everything short of drinking dreaded castor oil.  At about 11 last night, as I bounced on the birth ball and polished off the last of a fresh pineapple (it contains an enzyme called bromelain, which is believed to work like a prostaglandin, ripening and softening the cervix), I realized that I could not put my pregnancy, birth, health and child into God's hands and simultaneously tell Him how to handle them.  And so I finally prayed, and asked that God would give me, if not active labor, some patience and perhaps some rest.  


You will be proud to know that I walked by the eggplants at the grocery today without buying one, because even if the old wives tale says that eggplant parmesan will have you in labor by the next morning, I know that I have no idea how to cook it and it probably wouldn't work anyway.  And although I am sitting on my birth ball whilst writing this blog entry, I am not doing so in desperation.  I will practice patience.  My hour will come. 

In the meanwhile, I would like to share a few of the maternity photos my good friend Leslie took for us this last weekend.  I am so pleased with them, although it was certainly odd to be on this side of the lens!