Friday, June 20, 2014

Stop Asking The World To Put It's Boobs Up.

It is not within my nature to disagree.
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. 
I choose the "ignore and let it blow over" method of handling things when I am upset. 
No, I don't think that's healthy, but we all have our shortcomings. 

So I'm already getting that stomach-in-knots feeling. 
Because I'm writing this post for the direct purpose of disagreeing. Outwardly. Publicly. 
I've been thinking on this for two days.
I've prayed about it. 
Questioned my motives. 
And now I'm just going to suck up my discomfort and write because I think at least one person can benefit from what I have to say. 

A few days ago, I started seeing a shared blog post pop up in my Facebook news feed called "My husband doesn't need to see your boobs". Yeah, the title caught my eye but I didn't immediately read it. I assumed it would be another wordy plea by a Christian woman for other women to cover up their bodies. But then it popped up in a private group I'm in, captioned with a sarcastically implied eye-roll, and my interest was piqued. I bit.

Lauren (the blogger) actual
ly prefaces her feelings by saying that it is NOT another post asking girls to respect their bodies, because as she says, lots of people are already saying that. Instead, she appeals to the scantily clad in a woman-to-woman manner, explaining the effect of immodesty on marriages, the temptation for men and the insecurity in women like her, like me. 

Don't get me wrong, I get it.  What woman hasn't had feelings of inadequacy?  Our culture is not kind to real women. All it takes is a stroll past the window of Victoria's Secret to get a 14-foot-tall reminder of what I'm not. And that's just societal exposure. That doesn't even touch on the personal baggage, which everyone has.  When my husband and I first addressed the issue of porn and how it had no place in our marriage, I faced many nights like the one she described, wondering if he was picturing something better than me. I get it. Really.

But while reading this article, I had all kinds of red flags going up.
She is claiming to stand for God but has used her influence to call out the problem of immodesty, offering this simple fix.: "Keep your boobs out of my marriage. You can have your memories and we can have our sacred hearts."

This blogger's opinion is clear. As are the numerous concurring comments it has received. But I'm wondering how people are missing the most crucial part of having a Christian opinion. Christ. 

Where is Jesus in this?
I suppose He's with the blogger and her husband, since they are striving to keep their hearts pure and all. 
But what about the perky, tanned, coozie holding girls in the instagram photos? 
Doesn't Christ want them too?

The problem I have with this post is that this blogger is not standing apart from the world at all. She's just taking a different angle. Our worldly, sex-crazed culture tells women to take their clothes off because it makes men feel good. This blogger is telling women to put their clothes back on because their nakedness makes her feel self-conscious and serves as a stumbling block to her husband and other men striving for purity. While that may seem commendable, at the end of the day, it's still asking women to make choices because of what someone else needs rather than because of the sanctity Christ died for.
A long and wordy post explaining and guilting and shaming may serve the purpose of getting a woman to opt for the one-piece or put a t-shirt on. But if she doesn't know Jesus, does it matter?
What if you had a chance to speak into these women's lives and instead of telling them about how much God loves them, instead you chose to tell them to put their clothes on because their nice rack was distracting your spouse? Wouldn't that seem like a devastating waste?

Make no mistake, scripture is very clear about how to deal with immorality. Flee. Run. Don't waste any time. She's right to be concerned for her husband. In fact, I bet most people who take a stand against immodest dress have intentions rooted in concern for someone's purity (either their own or someone near to them). But even if every female on social media respected the Christians man's struggle for purity, even if everyone went swimming in dresses to their knees, what about the multi-billion dollar porn industry? What about the websites just selling the swimsuits? What about the Victorias Secret models in the window at the mall? The solution is never going to be altering the world. We cannot keep making pleas for people to change themselves so that we can have an easier time following Jesus. Because those pleas push people away from Him.  Our only solution is to anchor ourselves more tightly to Christ, so that we can face struggles with His strength and not our own. 

And let's not forget when faced with the argument of modesty, Jesus died for the seductress too.  If you look in the bible, you will see there is a definitive moment when the wayward woman is no longer just a trap that should be avoided. And that's when she meets Christ. We see it when He stops the mob from stoning the adulteress. We see it when He meets the Samaritan woman at the well. These women were the women this blog would have been written to. The good, godly wives said to these women "Put your boobs up." but Jesus said "I love you. And I'm enough."

And He is. 
He really is enough. 

He is enough for the husband, to strengthen him as he faces temptation (1 Cor. 10:13).  Once a man makes the decision to pursue Christ and strive to keep his heart pure, it doesn't really matter what temptations are presented. Really, a husband doesn't need his wife to warn him of the dangers lurking on Instagram. What he needs is a praying wife, because he absolutely will face overwhelming temptation. Every. Single. Day. He needs a loving wife, that doesn't lie I'm bed at night worrying about the imagery he may be holding into, but instead boldly takes her clothes off with the confidence that hers is the body God has given him to enjoy. He needs a forgiving wife, because there will always be stumbling blocks, and he won't always make it over them without falling. 

Thankfully, Jesus is enough for the wife, too. It's easy to get wrapped up in the mentality that women got the short end of the Christian stick. What with our society's disparaging tone towards woman, it's easy to forget how much God actually adores His daughters. But He does. He created the earth and everything in it and said that it was good. He created all the creatures on earth and in heaven, man included and said that it was good. But when he saw how lonely man was, for the first time he said it was "not good". And his solution? Woman. And when His fallen world needed a savior, He could have come in any fashion He wanted. He could have burst forth from a volcano riding a dinosaur. But instead, he came through a woman, to be nursed at her breast and raised to manhood by her hand. This is how much God loves us, how valuable he find us. Now are you really that concerned about your stretch marks? 

He is even enough for the immodest, for the girl who gets dressed in the morning, looking in the mirror and judging herself by a worldly standard. His affection is far greater than any admiration she could hope to gain by trying to appeal to men with her body. Her body was bought with a very high price, and has the potential to be a temple for the Holy Spirit. But she can't know that until she meets Him. And she can't meet Him until someone shows Him to her. And she won't make choices for Him until this happens. 

So, I wonder, what will you do? 
Will you argue against a broken world, begging it I show some discretion or will you set your eyes on Christ and be a light in the darkness, pointing to Jesus? 

He's really the only solution there is at all.
So, I choose the latter. 


  1. Absolutely beautiful! What a great presentation of the other side of an issue. That entire blog post made me feel sick.

    I'm going to be married to an amazing Christian man in October and trust him completely. Are other girls going to catch his eye? Unfortunately, yes. Do I believe he'll forever compare me to them? No.

    I'm an exceedingly competitive person and find myself trying not to compare myself to his ex-girlfriend at times. Long blond hair, blue eyes, big chested. It's extensions and a pushup bra, but she's the image the world tries to tell us that every man wants. Does mine? No. He tells me daily I'm the most beautiful girl in the world and I believe him. Even though other girls will come across his line of vision, I wholeheartedly trust him when he says he wants no other woman ever, I'm the only one in the world for him, and I'm the most gorgeous girl in the world, etc. And that's enough.

    My heart just hurts this blogger doesn't sound like she trusts her husband enough to be confident in the fact that she is enough for him.

  2. Well said and refreshing. Thank you!

  3. This is "God-centered" approach. I think it helps put things in perspective. Imagine if we all focused on Christ and how he wants us to present ourselves.